Rants of Valakut: Treacherous Links

It’s clear that I play a lot of Magic: the gathering, and write my Rants of Valakut, it’s no wonder that a word or phrase could get me thinking about a card. The trouble is, these days I’m starting to see these connections perpetually.

It’s currently spring, so naturally I’m going to see signs about Easter and Mother’s Day, but during the winter there were still plenty of things to make me think about this game. Whether it was the snow on the ground, or the evergreen trees, it was never far from my mind. The holidays didn’t aid matter, either. With all the gifts being exchanged and the festive well-wishers, it was hard not to be reminded of the name of some card or other.

From the moment I wake up to the second I fall asleep, these card names rattle around my skull. I can try to distract myself, but my brain always come back to this game in the end. I could try to fight it instead, but the truth is, I don’t feel too worked up over it. in fact, I quite like this weird power of mine to find bizzare puns.

Writing this week’s article, for example, got me digging through my memory for something suitable. The task started simply enough, but I might have given up if I didn’t find this reward. This article has shown itself to be a lot trickier than I thought at first. I’ve had to go back and alter my wording from time to time so it would fit with a pun. most of the time it has gone smoother than you might imagine, but still, I doubt most of you would even dream of doing this…….

Hmm. I’m sorry; that came across as condescending, which wasn’t my intent. I don’t wish to appear arrogant; that kind of talk drives readers and gamers away. I just meant that nobody would be mad enough to pull a stunt like this except for something similar to my column, but I digress.

The heart of it, if I’m blunt, is just that Magic makes me happy. Years ago I had no idea I’d be this dedicated to the hobby. I planned to build one deck and to only bring it out now and again. It didn’t go down that way. One became two, became three… My collection grew steadily, and I began playing all the time. This game had suddenly taken over my thoughts.

All in all, I’m at peace with how things turned out, even if I obsess over this game too much. Besides, once summer rolls around nothing could possibly remind me of Magic: the Gathering… except the heat, the sun, the sky…. Oh dear.

I’m doomed, aren’t I?