Koth Excited To Be Back After 13 Years on the Bench

After 13 years in waiting, Koth is finally getting a chance to stretch his legs. We had a chance to catch up with formidable Vulshok at his home in The Furnace Layer. The all-time champ of four-drop red walkers took some issue with his lengthy hiatus.

“Honestly, I thought I was a top-tier Planeswalker,” said the Mirrodin native. “I was in every Legacy cube since year one. So I started wondering if I’d tweeted something inappropriate. I was sure I got cancelled or something, because they never even gave me a Commander reimagining. Even Tibalt got a new print, and he had a terrible opening season!”

His triumphant return to the spotlight has admittedly been dampened by the apocalyptic events of All Will Be One. Despite having survived the chronicle untouched by phyresis, our host felt that his efforts have come to naught in light of the utter failure of the Superfriends Big Plan.

“I get that blowing up the plane was the only option, but did it have to be MY home plane? And even then, could they at least get it done right? Sounds like I’m just going to be stuck putting Karn back together like some magic Humpty-Dumpty, so that he can deus-ex-machina this dead end of a plotline. And the worst part is, I just KNOW that Jace is going to come out of this without a scratch on him. That dude has better plot armour than Keanu Reeves.”

The challenges of isolation on Mirrodin have clearly taken a toll on Koth, as he was stuck running a one-man show in the Furnace Layer of Mirrodin. Thirteen years is a tremendous time to spend with the same small band of Mirran rebels. It’s no wonder that he looked elsewhere for company.

“You make do with what you’ve got. Back in 2014 I had a Dungeons and Dragons campaign going with Ubarask and Slobad, before he got compleated. There was no point playing with them after that, every adventure was all ‘Make Mirrodin Great Again’. After that I thought Bosh and I were getting tight but,” he sighs, “it turns out it was just a rock. It was pretty Calvin and Hobbes there for a while.”

The imposing walker looks beat as he swirls his glass of lava. He’s been drinking more these days. When asked about future plans, his glazed look speaks volumes. With the thousand-yard stare of a grizzled veteran, he’s no longer expecting a happy ending – at most, Koth is looking for closure. 

“Mirrodin is going the way of Zendikar. It’s never going to be the plane I grew up on. Best case scenario, I find a condo on some Valakut lookalike and settle down, raise some elementals.” He downs his glass and stares off into the twilight. Beaten down but not defeated, the beleaguered defender of what used to be Mirrodin considers his options.

“If this pulls through — which is a BIG if — will I even be out there and get my time on the field? Or am I getting left behind again? Man, I’m not sure I even REMEMBER how to planeswalk. I used to add damage to the board from the start – and now I tutor Mountains?” The big man lets out a dry chuckle. “I just wanna see what it’s like to be in a Top 8. I’ve payed my dues.”

Koth swats an inkmoth with his glass as he goes for a refill, the impotent rage he’s holding back beginning to crack through his stony armor. Scooping another tumbler of lava, he mutters something in ancient Vulshok and settles back into his seat. Whatever his fate might be, he’s sure to see at least one more moment in the sun though March of the Machine.