Despite being asked by absolutely no one, Local hypercompetitive player Sheldon Snarks insisted on explaining to the entire table just how absolutely crushing his hand was after successfully countering half of the spells played and ending the game on turn three. While feverishly trying to maximize the use of infinite mana, turns, and creatures, the cEDH veteran had drawn most of their deck and locked out all mana sources of his opponents. Whilst they rolled up their mats and hurriedly packed their deckboxes in hopes of not having to listen to another word of his tirade, Sheldon breathlessly rambled on about the keen superiority of his build and the finesse that enabled him to execute his plan.

“I had a Cyclonic Rift in my back pocket, just in case. And a Mindbreak Trap as a backup if anyone had a response.”  Event staff, onlookers, and random passersby were coersed to listen through the list of counterspells, combos, and removal the player had available before the match slip was signed. A lone judge looked on in horror as the player insisted on calculating the damage multipliers and extra win conditions over an empty table, eventually having to move the player to clear space for the next event. Sheldon was last seen clutching his prize boosters like a proud mother at a church bake sale, and eyeing up an empty sign-up sheet for the next event.

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