Into the Arena: A Drink For Every Deck

If there’re two things I love, it’s Magic: The Gathering and a good refreshment. There’s nothing better than sitting down at the end of the day and playing a couple games of Magic while sipping on something tasty, whether it’s hot cocoa, some green tea, or maybe a sweet cocktail. There are a lot of parallels between Magic decks and drinks too: they both have to be made with the right balance of ingredients; everyone has a favorite, but no one can have just one; and of course there are a huge variety of options, with a lot of room for personal expression. Here are some examples of classic Magic archetypes and the drinks they correspond to!

Ramp: Smoothies

They’re green, they’re healthy, and they help you achieve greater things; ramp decks are a classic archetype that are all about building yourself up. In a game of Magic, playing a Utopia Sprawl on turn one is exactly the same thing as having a good smoothie for breakfast. You’re setting yourself up for later in the day, building up your mana and preparing to achieve some incredible goals. Just try not to brag about it too much.

Burn: Shots

Burn is one of the simplest archetypes in Magic. You have one goal: get your opponent down from twenty to zero as fast as possible. Shots are a lot like burn spells, once you’ve had about seven, you’ve lost. The only difference here is that Burn decks take down the opponent, while shots are a surefire way to take yourself down. Of course, this comparison works twice as well if its Fireball that you are taking shots of.

Tribal: Beer

Everyone has tried a tribal deck at some point or another, but for some people these decks are a way of life. The same is true for beer, where there are some people who are brand loyalists, some people who will drink whatever beer you put in front of them, and others who go in search of little-known craft beers and are prone to making their own homemade batches. Decks like Goblins and Elves are pretty commonplace, but only a true aficionado can say they’ve tried an Advisor or Atog deck.

Tempo: Coffee

Tempo players and coffee drinkers both want the same things; to go fast, and to annoy everyone around them. In this analogy, I believe the coffee is the cheap threats, the cream is the interaction, and that bit of sweetness is the counterspells. While everyone has their own unique taste, Tempo decks and coffee are still very distinctive.

UW Control: Martini

In the same way that pretentious martini drinkers like their gin with just the faintest hint of vermouth, control players are oh so reluctant to add win conditions to their decks. Martinis and UW Control decks are here not for a good time, but a long time. When a martini is being stirred or a control deck is being shuffled, you know you’re going to be here for a while.

WUBRG: Long Island Iced Tea

I believe Bolas’s machinations may well have been the attempt to make the perfect Long island…

Here is one for the people that just want a bit of everything. Some of us are greedy and just want the power of all five colours combined, others are masochists and want to be drinking vodka, gin, rum, tequila, and triple sec all at once. In the same way that WUBRG decks need a lot of dual lands to work, Long island Iced Teas need to be cut with lemon juice, sugar, and cola in order to be palatable. Bottoms up!

Jund: Old Fashioned

Classic, refined, often pricey, and underappreciated. Jund decks and old fashioneds are slow-sipping masterpieces that are appreciated by those who love good value or good whiskey. Just like the old fashioned, Jund decks have never changed too much, although these days they aren’t as popular as they once were. However, a Jund deck will always be the best way to appreciate cards like Liliana of the Veil, Tarmogoyf, and Bloodbraid Elf, just how an old fashioned will always be the best way to appreciate a fine whiskey.

I hope I’ve provided an excellent pairing for your favourite deck! If not, maybe I’ll have to come back with more of these another time. In any case, have fun playing and drinking until the next time we get back Into the Arena!