Orzov Guilds Expecting a Busy Tax Season Following Silicon Valley Bank Crisis

The Only Certainties in Life Are Death and Taxes and Bank Collapses

Several subsidiaries with ties to Orzhov syndicates are experiencing a turbulent week, as their investments in both Izzet engineering startups and the established Kaladesh tech sector had substantial deposits in the now defunct arm of the Orzhov guild’s off-plane banking operations. Baral, Chief of Compliance has called for an immediate nationalization of the aether assets affected by the fallout, in order to prevent the rogue speculator planeswalkers from taking advantage of the situation.

“Opportunistic mana speculators could wreak havoc in these times of uncertainty. The Cumulative Upkeep on a 10-year Aether bond has spiraled out of control, and should they fail, they can be picked up for pennies on the dollar, hurting honest mad scientists!” Despite the fact that he’s currently serving a sentence in the Dhund for his numerous crimes, his reputation as an effective and efficient administrator apparently remains untarnished.

The cartels of Orzhov expect to exact a Tax on those entities unfortunate enough to fall short in their payments over the coming weeks, though their own exposure to the crisis is unknown. A bailout from the Obzedat is all but ruled out, and even if it should be offered, it would have to be approved by the Guildpact. Some of the more wary investors have started moving their more volatile assets into an offshore Island.

As always, file early, use an Orzhov accredited accountant, and do the combat math twice before you Scoop.